Death Beneath the Water
It appeared to be a normal pool, calm, in fact, serene.
The water clear and quite inviting yet still I had my doubt.
What awaited, I was unsure, what did this moment mean?
It could not hurt, I told myself I’d step in and then step out.
But I was not alone within, a stranger stood in front.
Afraid I swiftly turned to run, to escape what was to be.
Avoidance ever was my call, the answer to each want,
grabbed from behind, I could not run, desire no longer free.
He muttered something I could not hear, phrases quite arcane.
Seized my shoulders, pulled me back, I nearly screamed aloud.
Plunged my head beneath the waves, and yet I felt no pain.
My thoughts were jumbled, in my ears the murmur of a crowd.
Then something flooded deep within, a peace I’d never known.
A warmth not of this present world, somewhere else in time and space.
Each fear, each worry I’d ever felt, that my actions long had sown,
fled, as from my death to sin, I raised my baptized face.
Thoughts on Living
Every day seems to either pat us on the back or slap us in the face, with only occasionally a day that falls somewhere in between. I’ve had what might be called a series of “tough breaks”, basically the kinds of days that you never hope to see in life. After feeling sorry for myself for a bit I realized that basically this was the way that life happened if you lived long enough. A friend said, in effect, that I was focusing so much on the sunsets that I was never seeing the sunrise. Whoa! Suddenly I was a glass half empty guy slowly shuffling down a dead end road.
I’d been a Christian most of my life and like most I figured I was doing a pretty good job. Even been a Supply Pastor and Professor in a Christian University, with a terminal Theologically related degree. But then my life crashed. Loss of a child, loss of my ability to walk, and loss of hope for much of a future. But when I was at the very bottom, I began to see myself as I really was. Lukewarm. Did I love Jesus? Yes, but was He the center of my thoughts from morning to night? Did I speak with Him throughout the day? Was He on the throne of my heart or was I sitting there myself?
That may sound strange to some that are reading this, but the New Testament makes it cleat that Jesus must be number one in our lives and the place for number two is down the block and around the corner. So what have I been learning About life? Contrary to what everybody says, life is not for living. Life is a period of grace that God provides so we can prepare for entering into His presence, and to be sure to invite others with us.
After all that has been happening, changing basically everything including what I read and watch, how I prioritize my time, and revising the view that I have of myself, I have come to a fairly remarkable conclusion. The best that ever happened for me was the worst that ever happened to me. I could not make it anymore in the way that I used to. I didn’t have it nearly as bad as so many others, but it was enough to force me to push the reset button. I had to die to my own desires and put Christ in the Center. I have never been happier in my life.